Jonny (age 3.5) just gave me an important warning. I don't know how important it could be since he used a fairly silly voice, but here goes:
"Dad, if you walk to work naked, the ArcGIS will start to get mad and tell all the workers!"
This is wrong on so many levels.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Going into business
James has tried a few get rich schemes. His latest involves what he refers to as J and J Transport. It is a service where he carries his customers on his back anywhere that they need to go. His rate: 2 cents per month. His service comes with a guarantee- if he drops you, he will give you 5 cents. Jonny was the first one to get his money in and has been enjoying piggy back rides off and on throughout the month. Amelia knows a good deal when she sees one. She prepaid for a year of J and J Transport.
Today, the kids decided to go into the restaurant business. Jimmy made up a menu. Amelia is the manager. Jimmy is the cook and waiter. Jonny is the janitor. I ordered "surprise entree" with a side of fruit and "swamp dessert"
Surprise turned out to be a ham sandwich. It was well made, with mustard and NO MAYONAISE, served with grapes on the side. I did not get so lucky with Swamp Dessert. It turned out to be half a cup of granulated sugar with globs of honey stirred in and a teaspoon of oats on top.
After trying to choke down a few bites, I came up with a scheme of my own. I asked if I could bake my Swamp Dessert. I got approval "as long as I did not add more than 4 tablespoons of extra ingredients." I stirred in a few of those cookie ingredients (you know- flour, vanilla, etc) and turned it into a cookie dough which I baked and called Baked Swamp Dessert. They were good. I could not talk the kids into trying them. I guess choking down some raw Swamp Dessert was enough for them.
If you would care to dine at the Kiddodiddo's Restaurant, please know that their rates are reasonable. If you are over 12 years, it's free. If you are under 3 it is free.
Today, the kids decided to go into the restaurant business. Jimmy made up a menu. Amelia is the manager. Jimmy is the cook and waiter. Jonny is the janitor. I ordered "surprise entree" with a side of fruit and "swamp dessert"
Surprise turned out to be a ham sandwich. It was well made, with mustard and NO MAYONAISE, served with grapes on the side. I did not get so lucky with Swamp Dessert. It turned out to be half a cup of granulated sugar with globs of honey stirred in and a teaspoon of oats on top.
After trying to choke down a few bites, I came up with a scheme of my own. I asked if I could bake my Swamp Dessert. I got approval "as long as I did not add more than 4 tablespoons of extra ingredients." I stirred in a few of those cookie ingredients (you know- flour, vanilla, etc) and turned it into a cookie dough which I baked and called Baked Swamp Dessert. They were good. I could not talk the kids into trying them. I guess choking down some raw Swamp Dessert was enough for them.
If you would care to dine at the Kiddodiddo's Restaurant, please know that their rates are reasonable. If you are over 12 years, it's free. If you are under 3 it is free.
vocabulary building
Last week, we had a few dinner conversations that turned into vocabulary builders.
Gary was explaining a funny thought he had while driving home from work. It was about some duties he had to perform at church (where he used to be ward clerk.) He said something like this:
Some churches have layman clergy. But our church also has "lay accountants."
After he got through the explaining what a layman is, Jonny said, after a thoughtful pause: That is like Spiderman. He has a job, but he doesn't get paid to be Spiderman.
The second conversation began when Jonny was trying to tell us that he "go-ed" somewhere. Gary explained that he should say "went," because "goad" means to tease someone until you get a reaction.
A few days later, I was reprimanding Amelia for teasing her brother. She responded (in a rather lofty tone) "I don't tease. I goad."
Gary was explaining a funny thought he had while driving home from work. It was about some duties he had to perform at church (where he used to be ward clerk.) He said something like this:
Some churches have layman clergy. But our church also has "lay accountants."
After he got through the explaining what a layman is, Jonny said, after a thoughtful pause: That is like Spiderman. He has a job, but he doesn't get paid to be Spiderman.
The second conversation began when Jonny was trying to tell us that he "go-ed" somewhere. Gary explained that he should say "went," because "goad" means to tease someone until you get a reaction.
A few days later, I was reprimanding Amelia for teasing her brother. She responded (in a rather lofty tone) "I don't tease. I goad."
How old are you?
Simon's birthday is coming up soon, so I thought it would be good to teach him to answer the typical little kid question, "How old are you?"
The conversation went like this:
Me: Simon, your birthday is coming. You are going to be 2. Can you say "I'm 2?"
Simon: no.
Me: You are one and you are going to be 2. Can you say almost 2? When I say How old are you, you say "almost 2" ok? Simon, how old are you?
Simon: How old you, Mommy?
Me: I am 30.
Simon: NO! You are 2!
Me: No, I am not 2, I am 30. How old are you?
Simon: Not quite 2.
The conversation went like this:
Me: Simon, your birthday is coming. You are going to be 2. Can you say "I'm 2?"
Simon: no.
Me: You are one and you are going to be 2. Can you say almost 2? When I say How old are you, you say "almost 2" ok? Simon, how old are you?
Simon: How old you, Mommy?
Me: I am 30.
Simon: NO! You are 2!
Me: No, I am not 2, I am 30. How old are you?
Simon: Not quite 2.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Black Licorice and Handedness
A poll and discussion on a MyFamily site made me want to poll the general public on the following question:
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
The Short Sale Shimmy (Part 2)
< The Short Sale Shimmy (Part 1)
"Act now! For a limited time, you can double your salary and quintuple your rent in only six years! Call 1-800-GRAD-SCHOOL to find out how!"
Today we learned some not-so-good news about our future home. Three weeks ago, the seller's agent was preparing the short sale packet to give to the bank. The title company helped with some documents, including the HUD-1 form. The seller's agent noticed some errors on the HUD-1 and called the title company asking for corrections. They said that their person who normally does the HUD-1 was gone and whoever was filling in made the mistakes.
The next action that was taken was yesterday--three weeks later--when Tracy called our agent to see if there was any word. We were curious because our agent said the soonest we would possibly hear back was three weeks. It's a good thing Tracy followed up, because when our agent called the seller's agent, she realized that she had failed to follow up with the title company. So nothing has been done in three weeks, there is no correct HUD-1, and the bank has not even seen the short sale packet or our offer yet.
<cry type="anguished" gratuitous="true">
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
</cry>
The good news is that the seller is still amenable to renting the house to us, so we will probably move in on or about September 22. I have no idea when we will finally own that house, but if Hope and Change solve this problem like they are solving the rest of our nation's problems...then I'm going to need a few refrigerator cartons to build our next house.
"Act now! For a limited time, you can double your salary and quintuple your rent in only six years! Call 1-800-GRAD-SCHOOL to find out how!"
Today we learned some not-so-good news about our future home. Three weeks ago, the seller's agent was preparing the short sale packet to give to the bank. The title company helped with some documents, including the HUD-1 form. The seller's agent noticed some errors on the HUD-1 and called the title company asking for corrections. They said that their person who normally does the HUD-1 was gone and whoever was filling in made the mistakes.
The next action that was taken was yesterday--three weeks later--when Tracy called our agent to see if there was any word. We were curious because our agent said the soonest we would possibly hear back was three weeks. It's a good thing Tracy followed up, because when our agent called the seller's agent, she realized that she had failed to follow up with the title company. So nothing has been done in three weeks, there is no correct HUD-1, and the bank has not even seen the short sale packet or our offer yet.
<cry type="anguished" gratuitous="true">
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
</cry>
The good news is that the seller is still amenable to renting the house to us, so we will probably move in on or about September 22. I have no idea when we will finally own that house, but if Hope and Change solve this problem like they are solving the rest of our nation's problems...then I'm going to need a few refrigerator cartons to build our next house.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Movie Recommendation
While I have not actually sat through the entire movie Muppets in Space, I have it on good authority that it is really funny. Here's how I know.
Someone (who shall remain nameless) wet the bed twice in one week (highly unusual.) The reason, "I was lying in bed thinking about Muppets in Space. I was laughing so hard and then I was all wet."
SO go check out Muppets in Space, but make sure everyone is wearing Pull-Ups to bed for the next week, just in case.
Someone (who shall remain nameless) wet the bed twice in one week (highly unusual.) The reason, "I was lying in bed thinking about Muppets in Space. I was laughing so hard and then I was all wet."
SO go check out Muppets in Space, but make sure everyone is wearing Pull-Ups to bed for the next week, just in case.
Monday, August 03, 2009
Translation
We read the following verse 2 nights ago, while studying in the book of Daniel
Daniel 3:29
Therefore I make a decree, That every people, nation, and language, which speak any thing amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made a dunghill: because there is no other God that can deliver after this sort.
James: Wait a minute. Did that just say their houses will be made into poo? They will be cut into pieces and their houses will be made into POOP?!
The kids are still laughing about that one.
Daniel 3:29
Therefore I make a decree, That every people, nation, and language, which speak any thing amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made a dunghill: because there is no other God that can deliver after this sort.
James: Wait a minute. Did that just say their houses will be made into poo? They will be cut into pieces and their houses will be made into POOP?!
The kids are still laughing about that one.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
I feel like Elmer Fudd
In the spring, I rented a garden plot and planted a few vegetables. (Well, I planted more than vegetables, but the ants kept eatting the seeds.)
This summer, it has been more than I can do to keep up with these plants. The zucchini provided more than 30 pounds of food, before dying while we were on vacation. The green beans produced over 15 lbs before finishing up. The peas were good too. Now all I've got left is a pumpkin plant and 3 productive tomato plants. Pounds of tomatoes. Unfortunately, they had a growth spurt while we were on vacation, just missing the tomato cages I set up. The look like huge overburdened spiders, with legs spread in every direction. Once, while the kids and I were walking up to our garden plot, we saw a cute little bunny bouncing out. It enjoyed many of the green beans. Now it is lunching on my tomatoes. Each one that reaches ripeness on the vine is covered in bunny bites. That rascally rabbit is ruining my crop! This bunny is patient. It won't settle for almost ripe. It waits until they reach perfection and then samples each one. It doesn't finish what it starts, so I am left with a bunch of inedible tomatoes. I picked a bunch of the almost ripe ones, in hopes they will ripen on the counter.
How do the kids feel about the garden? Well, there's a bunch of whining, but they have settled into jobs they like. James mans the hose, to water. Jonny takes the picked produce to Amelia, to guard (from Simon.) Amelia is the veggie guard and bathroom escort (she walks Jonny to the port o potty sometimes and takes it seriously.) Simon stumbles around alternately picking underripe vegetables and getting soaked with the hose. Gary, while not a kiddodiddo, has done his share of helping with the weeding and funding of the project.
Last time we went to the garden, Simon got excited and yelled "Garden! Garden! It's my favorite!" I was so happy to have someone to share my joy, not just tolerate it.
This summer, it has been more than I can do to keep up with these plants. The zucchini provided more than 30 pounds of food, before dying while we were on vacation. The green beans produced over 15 lbs before finishing up. The peas were good too. Now all I've got left is a pumpkin plant and 3 productive tomato plants. Pounds of tomatoes. Unfortunately, they had a growth spurt while we were on vacation, just missing the tomato cages I set up. The look like huge overburdened spiders, with legs spread in every direction. Once, while the kids and I were walking up to our garden plot, we saw a cute little bunny bouncing out. It enjoyed many of the green beans. Now it is lunching on my tomatoes. Each one that reaches ripeness on the vine is covered in bunny bites. That rascally rabbit is ruining my crop! This bunny is patient. It won't settle for almost ripe. It waits until they reach perfection and then samples each one. It doesn't finish what it starts, so I am left with a bunch of inedible tomatoes. I picked a bunch of the almost ripe ones, in hopes they will ripen on the counter.
How do the kids feel about the garden? Well, there's a bunch of whining, but they have settled into jobs they like. James mans the hose, to water. Jonny takes the picked produce to Amelia, to guard (from Simon.) Amelia is the veggie guard and bathroom escort (she walks Jonny to the port o potty sometimes and takes it seriously.) Simon stumbles around alternately picking underripe vegetables and getting soaked with the hose. Gary, while not a kiddodiddo, has done his share of helping with the weeding and funding of the project.
Last time we went to the garden, Simon got excited and yelled "Garden! Garden! It's my favorite!" I was so happy to have someone to share my joy, not just tolerate it.
Chef's Surprise
Amelia had her friend Abbey over last week. Jimmy had a Dominic over too. (these are best friends from school.) While the boys pillow fought (for 2 hours straight) the girls decided to get creative in the kitchen. I tried to keep out of the way, but I could hear the discussion in the kitchen as Amelia and Abbey created their very own recipe. It had raw oats, brown sugar, granulated sugar and honey. They measured mixed and stirred for a very long time. Then they got spoons to eat their concoction. "This is disgusting!" Amelia cried. "Yeah- lets just eat the sugar off it," Abbey agreed.
Once the friends had left and things had calmed down, Jonathan and James wandered into the kitchen. There they found the 2 bowls filled with Amelia and Abbey's creation. There were two of them, so they sat down to eat it. They ate and ate and ate. "This is good" James said. "Mmm!" said Jonny appreciativly. They ate every last bite of it and wanted more.
Once the friends had left and things had calmed down, Jonathan and James wandered into the kitchen. There they found the 2 bowls filled with Amelia and Abbey's creation. There were two of them, so they sat down to eat it. They ate and ate and ate. "This is good" James said. "Mmm!" said Jonny appreciativly. They ate every last bite of it and wanted more.
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